Sunday, 18 November 2007

Honourable Fatherhood

I've been listening to MP3 downloads from Catholic Radio about the role of father's in the home and the general state and view of fatherhood as a whole in Western culture. Steve Wood does a lot of programmes about fatherhood-very good stuff.
There are three rules
Put God first
Then your family(wife and children)
then anything else.
He points out that many men get things in the wrong order and put work or their own needs first. The programmes help to give father's a focus and reminder of their role which has been so undermined by feminism and the selfish culture of today.
So many children grow up without a father at all, or with one of those detached father's who comes home for dinner, but hardly interacts with his children. How many times do I hear on Dr Ray Guarendi's phone in programme that dad leaves all the discipline to mum?
It is interesting that most mums, chatting together or phoning programmes are only too happy to submit to their husbands as per Eph 5 as he takes on the role of priest and father of the family. A father who leads as head of his family is a father who brings his children nearer to God the Father. Isn't that wonderful?
But what about those who have been so abused they cannot 'honour father and mother'?
Sr Mary Martha in her blog once said there is a special place in puratory for parents who don't do their job properly-and I do not doubt there is a certain place in hell too.
Charlotte Mason insists that a mother (and I am sure she means father's too) must give what she calls a "thinking love" to their children. We need to think about the love we give and how we give it. Discipline and routine for our children comes from us-the parents. If our children behave badly, become bad people even-isn't at least some that down to us?
I'm rambling sorry. It's just I seem to be coming across so many poorly parented people these days; sad, lonely and desperately selfish in their brokeness.
A friend of mine talked about the children she has fostered today and it brought back memories of my own work with children in the mental health system.
I will never understand parents who will not love their children, or who are so lacking in thinking love that they collude with and enable bad behaviour.
A father is given the beautiful task and all the graces he needs to help his bride, the mother of his children bring up their treasures for heaven.
God have mercy on those who wont.


Anonymous said...

Yes thanks be to God for my wonderful husband & father. In Miles Jesu we're always told God first,family second & me 3rd. Works perfectly.

Marie said...

There is a story now in my own country where the parents starved their poor little child to death:((. Makes one's heart weep.

The father stated he didnt realise she was starving!!! Good grief!

I cant bear to read it,just breaks one heart!

I have written about a very brave little girl called Sophie I do hope you will drop by and read it. She stole the heart of nation and I hope she will touch your heart too.

Peace & JOY to you:)


swissmiss said...

I didn't know you got Dr. Ray over there! He's everywhere. He spoke at the nearby University a year or so ago for the Catholic Homeschoolers group. Very nice to see him in person!

I am thankful for a very attentive husband who plays with the children, tends to the children and disciplines the children. I don't know how single mothers do it.

And, yes, I've heard the God first, family second, all else third. I sometimes get the order mixed up though ;}

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

I love Dr Ray. He exudes common sense, which is so rare in those offering parenting advice. I've given loads of his MP3 programmes to a friend and she is now a Dr Ray convert :)

Marie-I will never understand how parents can be so unloving to their children. I see parents who make some pretty bad mistakes with their children; but it's the ones who WILL NOT love their own kids I just don't get.
Then there are the parents who sentimentalise their love so much they destroy their children. I've seen children who lie, steal, bully and worse all with the collusion of mum. It's tragic.

Jackie-it's a great 3 point plan and when implemented it does indeed work.

Marie said...


I agree to be a parent is the most difficult job in the world. Being a President of a country is less arduous than being a parent.

There seem to be so many 'stories' where dear sweet children fall through the cracks. Well, I'm sorry but the cracks in the system are starting to take on the appearance of the Grand Canyon!

I hold all parents in the highest esteem. It is the toughest job in the world.

Peace to you & your family:)


Joyful Catholics said...

My dear husband was very helpful with our two boys. He changed diapers and rocked them when they were babies and toddlers and it was wonderful. He's always pitched in to help me.

We just had them both home for Thanksgiving, our oldest is 30 and our youngest is married and 28. Time does indeed fly and it's so sad that so many aren't parented correctly. Not that we did it perfectly, but what a difference when brought up in a loving, two- parent household! I am from a broken home, and I know how my own mother had to struggle raising my bro and me. Then we were blessed to have a great step-father for our teen years.

By the way, Dr. Ray and I have become quite good email pals. He's been a good friend to me, via emailing the past 2.5 years. I was honored and blessed to meet him at KVSS- -where I volunteer, in Sept 2005. In fact, I just went to see him in Clinton Iowa last month, and got to hang out with him while he did the program from a woman's house with this thing they call the nifty "blue box." One doesn't even need a studio anymore to do national raydio.

So, if you ever hear him talking to "susie from omaha" that would be me. I call about once a month or so. I had my son, Justin, call him on Wed. the 21 of Nov. His name is Justin, if you download it, that's my boy! Then he really surprised me and read my email I'd sent him the week before re: his monologue of the 15th about how we treat friends and aquaintances much more kind and nicer than our own loved ones/spouses. It really "hit home" and he got me to Confession that Saturday! I love my husband, but boy, I can be sometimes so short and not very kind when I get 'hot under the caller' about stuff. I have much ugly selfishness to shed! God bless my hubby and Dr. Ray!
: )