I had a hospital appointment yesterday. I hate them. I had a list of questions about the evoked potentials. I had been told they were all normal, but the sensory ones had been very strange in sensation and I was surprised they were normal and wondered what the difference could mean.
As it happened (and as is usual with me) the results were not normal-they were not there at all. The doctor said he would chase them up. Meanwhile with half my notes missing he asked how i was.
Well, I could tell him that things are improving. For the last few weeks I have managed without any Tramadol and I am only taking analgesia at night. My balance has improved and so has my walking because my leg doesn't drag so much. I still need a wheelchair for distances and crutches - but there is marked improvement. I simply feel better. The fatigue has reduced markedly, probably because I am not constantly trying to keep a balance between how much pain I can stand and how many tablets a breastfeeding mum should take.
Things had begun to improve once my daughter (the 13 yr old one) and I had said a Novena to the Infant of Prague. We are resaying it at the moment. A few days ago I saw a medal for the Infant of Healing-which was essentially the Infant of Prague.
The doctor did the tests. Push this, hold that, squeeze my fingers and so on. I hate them because it just shows up what a crip I am. But yesterday I gripped his fingers in my right hand and I could do it! I could actually feel his fingers in my grip! I have not been able to do that for over four years! I could lift my leg from flat and when he stuck the little pin in my leg I could feel it. Even my reflexes were normal.
I couldn't believe it. The doctor thinks I am healing and that I could go back to having a normal life as this really is-he says-it! He then said "You have suffered a great deal over the last four years, it is time to put that behind you. God is good."
For a doctor in and NHS hospital to say "God is good" is a minor miracle all of its own. We both wished God's blessing and I have an appt for six months time. I am praying and determined to WALK into that hospital.
God really is good.