Friday, 22 June 2007

living with pain

God never gives us more than we can carry as our cross. He always gives us the graces and strength we need to get through each day.

Looking ahead to how far we might be expected to carry the cross can be both terrifying and undermining.

I can't help thinking that Jesus, bent under the weight of His cross, looked firmly at the ground-not the steep hillside he was climbing. One step, one faltering step at a time.

Living with chronic pain is wearing and can make a person grouchy. I find it a real struggle sometimes to deal with the little ones and have to question my motives for some disciplines-is this right or am I just acting on the amount of pain I'm in today?
I watch 'House' and last night's episode was about a young girl with 'sepa' a neurological disorder that prevented her from feeling pain. House was obviously envious to begin with-and so was I.
Something was said during the episode-I can't remember the exact words but essentially it said that chronic pain and being a complete jerk (like House) went together.
Well, I sure hope not!
However bad things get, I tell myself 'Don't get like House!'
At least I can offer this pain up-stick it to the cross of Christ and know He can make something good out of it.
And while House may be almost proud of his addiction to Vicadin I pray I never become addicted to Tramadol or any of the other pain meds I take.
It's my cross-it's there for a reason I am sure, even if I am not sure what that reason is.


4 comments:

Ttony said...

"It's my cross-it's there for a reason I am sure, even if I am not sure what that reason is."

Indeed! My prayers for you.

MMajor Fan said...

When I'm in great physical pain I think that at least it's not being done to a child or baby. That's the truly unbearable thought, of an infant experiencing such pain.

Hope you feel better!!

White Stone Name Seeker said...

thank you for your prayers.
MMajir fan- you are right. I worked in a hospice for a while and I worked in child psychiatry for a long time. It's much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain-but seeing both in a child is hard to bare.
Worst of all (for me as her mum) has been seeing my 2yr old go through it because she has an immune response deficiancy.
When she had a lumber puncture last year the docs advised me not to come and watch. Apparently, he said, it hurts the parent more than the child!
God bless

Ma Beck said...

Oh, Lord.
Oh, you poor thing.
I hope your daughter is doing well now.